My son came home after being thrown out of school for letting a girl in his class give him a hand job.
I said "Thats the third time this year! You're going to have to stop or you might get banned from teaching altogether!"
--
According to a recent survey on whether there was too much immigration in Britain, 17% said Yes, 11% said no, 72% said "Very sorry I am not understanding the question please"
--
I found out my wife was having an affair but by turning to religion i have been able to deal with it. I converted to Islam and we're stoning her in the morning
Stupid Jokes
The Chef
I bumped into an old mate yesterday.
I said "What you up to these days?"
He said "I prepare meals for the homeless, druggies, p*ss heads and down-and-outs"
"Oh, you work in a soup kitchen then?"
"No" he said "I'm the chef at Wetherspoons"
I bumped into an old mate yesterday.
I said "What you up to these days?"
He said "I prepare meals for the homeless, druggies, p*ss heads and down-and-outs"
"Oh, you work in a soup kitchen then?"
"No" he said "I'm the chef at Wetherspoons"
-
mick1
- registered user
- Posts: 1292
- Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2011 7:43 pm
- Main scooter: Li Avanti 225
- Location: York
- Contact:
KITKAT
A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a KitKat Chunky?"
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him.
"No," says the man, "I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat b**ch."
A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a KitKat Chunky?"
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him.
"No," says the man, "I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat b**ch."
-
mick1
- registered user
- Posts: 1292
- Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2011 7:43 pm
- Main scooter: Li Avanti 225
- Location: York
- Contact:
London Cabbie
A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio, because as decreed by his religious teaching he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.
The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door.
The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing?"
The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so p155 off and wait for a camel.."
A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio, because as decreed by his religious teaching he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.
The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door.
The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing?"
The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so p155 off and wait for a camel.."
i thought it was a seaside tragedy when i saw the headline ........" Young lad tossed off Cliff ".
win or lose have a booze
-
bolzenanker
- registered user
- Posts: 93
- Joined: Mon Mar 10, 2014 2:46 pm
- Main scooter: Spanish S2 Li150 1963
- Contact:
What's brown and sticky...
A stick.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
A stick.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
-
monument7
- registered user
- Posts: 59
- Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2012 6:38 pm
- Main scooter: Li auto conversion 180
- Contact:
Old man and woman sat in their care home and the woman suggests sex 
. The old man says " i can't get the old tadger to stand to attention any more but dont mind a 69. Stripped off and down to it the old man says f''k me what's that smell ?), sorry says the old lady it's my arthritus. What 
says the old man, in your fanny. No dafty says the woman, in me hands......................... I can't wipe me arse properly. 
. The old man says " i can't get the old tadger to stand to attention any more but dont mind a 69. Stripped off and down to it the old man says f''k me what's that smell ?), sorry says the old lady it's my arthritus. What says the old man, in your fanny. No dafty says the woman, in me hands......................... I can't wipe me arse properly. -
wack 63
- registered user
- Posts: 1254
- Joined: Fri Nov 27, 2009 9:33 pm
- Main scooter: '71 GP TS1
- Location: Lincs
- Contact:
With all this media attention on celebrity abuse during the 70's, I'd like to press charges against Pans People who made me abuse myself at 7pm every Thursday night from the age of 11
ISIS recruits have dried up from the Uk as Rotherham city council have put on monthly school discos instead.