Stupid Jokes

[YAMLAM]

My wife says i only have two faults.
i dont listen and.........some other s**t she was rattling on about.

[MisterD]

Paddy walks into a florists in Dublin

"Sure I'd like some flowers for my girlfriend."

"What would you be after?" asks the florist.

"A shag."

[steviegp200]

my nephew fell asleep at a family party so for a laugh i shaved of his eyebrows n drew a cock on his forhead. my sister went fu@#in mental when she looked in his pram!!

[steviegp200]

got a porn dvd the other day put it in the player the picture was all dark n fuzzy cud just make out a fat bald bloke wi a big cock took me 5mins to relise tv was switched off!!!

[steviegp200]

saw my dwarf nieghbour at a bus stop so i stopped n said "jump in al take you home" f#@k off he said .........so i just zipped up my backpack n kept walking

[corrado]

I proposed to a girl I'd only met on the internet with inflated balloons outside her house. When she opened the door and I saw her face I popped the question.

[Andy Pickering]

The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.

Grumpy leads the pack.

'Grumpy, my son,' says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?'

Grumpy asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?'

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome.'

In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.

Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.

Grumpy turns back, 'Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?'

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe.

'This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.

Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare.

Grumpy turns back and says, 'Mr. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?'

The Pope, really confused by the questions says, 'I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.'

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting......

'Grumpy shagged a penguin!'

'Grumpy shagged a penguin!

[corrado]

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough."

[rosscla]

There's two types of people in this world.

Those who can extrapolate from incomplete information.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[corrado]

Police told me today they've moved a step closer to finding my missing dog.

They have a lead.