Scooterotica

Thought I heard the ghost of Robin Gibb singing in my herb garden.......Turns out it was just the chive talking

I went to the doctors suffering with premature ejaculation,he said it must be very stressful for your partner. I said to be perfectly honest it's getting on her tits.

Just heard that they have discovered a cure for Dyslexia.

It's music to my arse.

I love a Friday night ,the wife gets her nurses outfit on, then buggers off to work!

Just got this text message, not sure if it's a prank;
"Congratulations! You have won £250 of shopping vouchers or a night at an Elvis Presley tribute act. To claim your prize, press 1 for the money, 2 for the show......"

i was at a music quiz last night, do you think i could remember who sang tiger feet?
was it mud?
thats right, thats right, thats right
doh!!!

I went to a seminar on reincarnation last night, it cost me three grand but I thought sod it, you only live once.

Not a joke but it did make me laugh....

I was chatting to this girl in the pub last night & telling her of my uncanny ability to be able to tell the day any woman was born by holding their breasts in my hands.

She thought I was having her on but was curious none the less.
Eventually curiosity got the better of her & she said go on then give it a go!

I stood there feeling her breasts for about a minute before she could contain herself no longer & asked, “When was I born then?"

I replied "Yesterday.”

What's green and got wheels?




















Grass........I was lying about the wheels. :bald: