Scooterotica

It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from the mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3kg. The length of a penis is 3 times the length of the thumb. The femur is as hard as concrete. Women blink 2x as much as men. We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand. A woman has read this entire post. A man is still looking at his thumb

How do you measure a thumb?

red ghost wrote:How do you measure a thumb?

fold your dick three times

joee wrote:

red ghost wrote:How do you measure a thumb?

fold your dick three times

got a job as a litter picker at my local council ..

ask my boss if i need any training ..

he said .. no , just pick it up as you go

Just been talking to a chap who offered me a job at the Brittle Bone Society, I snapped his hand off....

My girlfriend thinks I'm stalking her.

Well she's not actually my girlfriend.......

two gorgeous lesbians just broke into my house and started raping my
missus,i tried my best but all i could do was knock one out

I went to bed with two thai girls last night, it was like winning the lottery........We had 6 matching balls !

My mate set me up on a blind date with a friend of his wife last night,he said ''i have to warn you mate, she is expecting a baby''. How f@@king stupid did i feel ,sat in the pub wearing only a nappy, with a big dummy in my gob !!!!!

went to a party last night and my cousin fell asleep so naturaly i shaved his eyebrows and drew a cock on his face should of seen the look on my sisters face when she looked in his cot

Whats got 23 legs and 6 teeth?......
the methadone queue outside boots

my uncle eric was a crap ventriliqiust ... he used to stick his fingers up my arse and ask me to say nothing !!!

A dwarf with a lisp goes 2 a stud farm, I'd like 2 buy a horth, what sort of horse said the owner, a female horth says the dwarf, the owner shows him a chesnut mare, nithe horth says the dwarf, can I see her eyths, the owner picks up the dwarf + shows him the mares eyes, nice eyths, can I thee her teeth, the owner shows him her teeth, nithe teeth, can I see her twot ?, the owner picks him up + shoves his head deep in the horses vagina, then pulls him out, the dwarf shakes his head and says, perhaps I shud weefraze that- can I see her wun awound ! .

Some tw@7 wrote "Retard" on my car window last night.... Took me fu**ing ages to lick it off.

I thought my new girlfriend might be "the one" but after looking thru her knicker drawer and finding a nurses outfit ,a French maids outfit and a policewomans uniform I've dumped her. She obviously can't hold down a f@@king job !

I asked 100 women at the Leisure Centre what shampoo they used whilst showering? 95% replied " what the f@@k are you doing in here? !"