Stupid Jokes

[mick1]

A dwarf walked into the bar and asked for a double whisky, "sorry we don't serve shorts" said the barman......

[drunkmunkey6969]

How do you measure a thumb?

fold your dick three times

Only just read that.....and spat my beer out....funny as f@@k....LOL

[mick1]

A mum cleaning her 12yr old sons bedroom finds a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags.
She asks her husband "What do I do?"
Hubby "I'm not sure, but I certainly wouldn't spank him"

[mick1]

A bloke wins the lottery and decides to buy himself a Harley Davidson, he goes down to his local bike shop and after purchasing a top of the range bike, the owner of the shop tells him to coat the bike in Vaseline every time it looks like raining. That night he goes and picks his girlfriend up on his new toy and heads over to her parents house for the first time. As they arrive there, she explains to him that whenever they have dinner, don't talk.
"If you talk," she tells him, "you have to do the pots." The man is astounded as he walks into the house as it is a complete mess. Anyway, the family all sit down for dinner not saying a word. The man decides to take advantage of the situation by groping his girlfriend's tits, yet there is not a sound from anyone.
So he decides to shag his bird on the table, and still there is not a word. He then proceeds to do his girlfriend's mum over the table, but still, amazingly, there's not a word from anyone. Just at that moment he notices the rain on the kitchen window and remembers his precious motorbike, so he reaches into his pocket and flops the Vaseline out.
At which point his girlfriend's dad leaps up and shouts, "Okay! Okay! I'll do the f#!$ pots!"

[matthew]

How do you measure a thumb?

fold your dick three times

Only just read that.....and spat my beer out....funny as f@@k....LOL

Do the maths...for 3 times the length of your thimb, fold your dick twice

[matthew]

How do you measure a thumb?

fold your dick three times

Only just read that.....and spat my beer out....funny as f@@k....LOL

Do the maths...for 3 times the length of your thimb, fold your dick twice

[wack 63]

I've just heard an old mate has died of heartburn . Gav is gone

[drunkmunkey6969]

fold your dick three times

Only just read that.....and spat my beer out....funny as f@@k....LOL

Do the maths...for 3 times the length of your thimb, fold your dick twice

Only if you are folding it in half! I fold mine in thirds! ;o)

[matthew]

fold your dick three times[/quote]
Only just read that.....and spat my beer out....funny as f@@k....LOL[/quote]

Do the maths...for 3 times the length of your thimb, fold your dick twice [/quote]
Only if you are folding it in half! I fold mine in thirds! ;o)[/quote]

What? No... It's one fold if you're folding it in half, two folds to fold into thirds and three folds to fold into quarters.

[lambro]

I was on the train t'other day, when a stunning oriental bird sat down opposite me,
Tight low cut dress, long legs,high heels and such firm round pert breasts.....................

Don't get an erection, Don't get an erection I kept telling myself.............................................










But she did